The Magical Feminist Land of Give No Fucks
This week, the anniversary of the demagogue in office, I am reflecting on a year that has been my greatest protest and experiment: unflinchingly expressing my feminist fury. This has manifested in standing up for myself, interrupting when necessary, actively participating in political actions, and building inclusive community in the outdoor industry. For the record: I have been done with giving fucks for a long time. I have been done with trying to be more of what people have so condescendingly advised me to be: "diplomatic," less demanding, not so aggressive, not so angry. People begging me to try harder to not emasculate men. But who decides what's too angry in a world where my bodily autonomy is put to question every damn day? Where I have to diminish my presence so I don't intimidate or upset the men around me?
Because of my writing and outspokenness I have been labeled and ostracized. And what it has done is catapulted me into a beautifully liberated new sense of give-no-fucks. People give me unsolicited advice all the time as if they know better than me how to run my own life. I was raised to make myself small, to make myself unseen and unheard, to not flip the camera off, to not be so rude as to express my true opinions, to wait for my turn, to speak softly, to never, oh god, never interrupt. I was taught to answer to others' needs first, to defer to authority, even if the authority meant sleazy men who would try to manipulate me. I have spent too much of my young life questioning myself.
The orange douchebag in office has made it easier to move to the magical feminist land of give no fucks. Thank you to all who have been, and those who still are, fighting the cloak of white supremacy, the demand of capitalism, the control of patriarchy, and the choke hold of imperialism. Thank you to those who don't just pay lip service to "diversity." Thank you to those who keep showing up, who tell your stories, who take up space when it's not easy, who spark conversations, who interrupt, who are generous with your love, and unyielding in your resolve.
A lot of people who I thought were friends have turned their backs on me. But what makes me most proud are all of the relationships I have built once I stopped giving any fucks about bowing to the status quo. For clarity's sake, if this year has taught me one thing it is to encourage my fellow feminists to do your thing, be yourself, and show up for what you believe in. And if it suits you, give no fucks.